Marriage is a funny thing for some men. For many, marriage becomes an institutional convenience. We want the best of both worlds. We want the freedom of the single life and the support and benefits of the married life. We want to play hard, without our spouse. We want to spend time with friends, without our spouse. We want the individual freedom of the single life without respect for our partner in life. This is not a sustainable relationship.
When a marriage begins to fail, most men are oblivious to the impending failure.
I am not saying you must give up every aspect of life outside marriage, but your marriage must be more important than any outside activity. If it is not, failure always looms on the horizon. The most curious aspect of this failure is most men never see it coming.
Most men never see the hammer that falls on their head. They believe they have a right to the best of both worlds. They can’t understand why a “good” wife can’t see this truism. This is shallow thinking at best and will most definitely get you into serious marital trouble.
One of the most interesting statements about this subject comes from a successful divorce attorney who said, “The most amazing thing to me, after interviewing many potential divorce clients, is more than 80% of men never see it coming.”
I was recently at a trade show displaying my book, Ten Promises, when a couple came up to me to discuss the book. The husband stood slightly in front of the wife as he began telling me what a wonderful relationship they had and how they were not in need of marital advice. The wife, who was slightly behind the husband, upon hearing how they were in marital bliss, began to roll her eyes and just walked away. Here is a perfect example of a man in denial. He believes his relationship is in perfect condition, but the opposite is apparently true.
You can never be certain of your relationship status. You can never take your relationship for granted. You must constantly strive to perfect your marriage and give your wife what she wants and needs in the relationship. This is the only path for a “good” husband and father. Protect your marriage. Protect your family. Be the man you should be, not the man your friends expect you to be.